Life Is Not Purgatory
Monday, July 24, 2006
Tactical Withdrawl
... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
My several weeks of semi-employment have been quite odd and although every few days we keep adjusting the opening date by a few more days, I am hopeful that we will be finished and open at the end of the week. It’s been quite a challenge but it’s been one that I am more than happy to wrestle with. I can see the effects of our hard work and it’s good to know that my efforts have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated by my bosses, the owners. It has been an interesting couple of weeks for me and I’ve been reticent to post for a variety of reasons, although not the least of it is because my personal computer is currently residing in my office at work in the absence of the laptop which has not yet arrived from the supplier and if I want to get anything productive accomplished at work a computer is required.
Firstly, I have withdrawn from organizing Purgatory for a plethora of reasons most of which revolve around the fact that I really haven’t ‘bought’ all the way into P3. When I was in Kananaskis, Dave did all the work creating the world, and I just sort of came along for the ride and I have felt like a third wheel ever since. I’ve tried to keep up with all the forums, the plotting and the conspiring, but it seems to be just a little to much for me to keep up with, nor do I get the enjoyment I should be getting out of it. Dave, Anne and I talked about this at the beginning and I redoubled my efforts but it really only lasted a short while… and so I have left - it’s not my game anymore, and it’s probably time I stopped pretending it is… my ownership of the game died when I moved to Kananaskis and when I returned, with the exodus from BP’s to Keegans (which I despise!) I no longer feed off the energy of the players, and without that, there was nothing to attach my tether too…
Secondly, my ill-fated business venture with GZ Games has failed, and while I am tempted to assign blame for that here, I choose not to do so. I knew more likely than not that the business would fail but I was right there at the start of Ground Zero Games with the two founders and at that time I didn’t have the financial ability to contribute… something that I have always regretted. I am confident that had I been able to contribute at the time it opened, the store may well still be existent and the schism between the founders would not have happened to the degree it has. So when I bought into the business at the end of February, it was eyes-wide-open that it was likely a waste of a few thousand dollars. I have no regrets however, the four of us who saw it through to the end learned some valuable lessons and have bonded in a way that is hard to describe. We did create a community, and the pain of our closure was evident on the faces of our regulars – and it was something that we talked at great length about… we succeeded in a great many respects and next time, should we choose to do so, we will do it right.
Thirdly, more than one of my recent gaming experiences has been exceptionally poor and has me questioning my continuation in these games. If it was just an isolated experience I would simply brush it off as a bad encounter and continue on… but with more than one data point to look at it certainly appears that the common denominator in the equation is me… I may be deveoloping “GM’s make bad players” syndrome… or I may simply be losing interest in gaming all-together… I really don’t know…
... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
My several weeks of semi-employment have been quite odd and although every few days we keep adjusting the opening date by a few more days, I am hopeful that we will be finished and open at the end of the week. It’s been quite a challenge but it’s been one that I am more than happy to wrestle with. I can see the effects of our hard work and it’s good to know that my efforts have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated by my bosses, the owners. It has been an interesting couple of weeks for me and I’ve been reticent to post for a variety of reasons, although not the least of it is because my personal computer is currently residing in my office at work in the absence of the laptop which has not yet arrived from the supplier and if I want to get anything productive accomplished at work a computer is required.
Firstly, I have withdrawn from organizing Purgatory for a plethora of reasons most of which revolve around the fact that I really haven’t ‘bought’ all the way into P3. When I was in Kananaskis, Dave did all the work creating the world, and I just sort of came along for the ride and I have felt like a third wheel ever since. I’ve tried to keep up with all the forums, the plotting and the conspiring, but it seems to be just a little to much for me to keep up with, nor do I get the enjoyment I should be getting out of it. Dave, Anne and I talked about this at the beginning and I redoubled my efforts but it really only lasted a short while… and so I have left - it’s not my game anymore, and it’s probably time I stopped pretending it is… my ownership of the game died when I moved to Kananaskis and when I returned, with the exodus from BP’s to Keegans (which I despise!) I no longer feed off the energy of the players, and without that, there was nothing to attach my tether too…
Secondly, my ill-fated business venture with GZ Games has failed, and while I am tempted to assign blame for that here, I choose not to do so. I knew more likely than not that the business would fail but I was right there at the start of Ground Zero Games with the two founders and at that time I didn’t have the financial ability to contribute… something that I have always regretted. I am confident that had I been able to contribute at the time it opened, the store may well still be existent and the schism between the founders would not have happened to the degree it has. So when I bought into the business at the end of February, it was eyes-wide-open that it was likely a waste of a few thousand dollars. I have no regrets however, the four of us who saw it through to the end learned some valuable lessons and have bonded in a way that is hard to describe. We did create a community, and the pain of our closure was evident on the faces of our regulars – and it was something that we talked at great length about… we succeeded in a great many respects and next time, should we choose to do so, we will do it right.
Thirdly, more than one of my recent gaming experiences has been exceptionally poor and has me questioning my continuation in these games. If it was just an isolated experience I would simply brush it off as a bad encounter and continue on… but with more than one data point to look at it certainly appears that the common denominator in the equation is me… I may be deveoloping “GM’s make bad players” syndrome… or I may simply be losing interest in gaming all-together… I really don’t know…
