Life Is Not Purgatory
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Religion, Marriage & Sex
One of my employees blindsided me with an announcement that she was getting engaged. After I picked myself off the floor and offered my congratulations, I asked for more details. She told me that she was going to travel back to Jordan to meet her aunt and be re-introduced to a person who had expressed an interest in courting her. I like #### and I think that she is a wonderful person, who needs to find someone she cares for and who cares for her rather than finding somone the family would find acceptable. She had turned down a betrothal to a Christian man (that she cared for deeply), because he was Christian and while her immediate family would be supportive, she would be shunned by her extended family - something she wishes to avoid.
In Alabama, I noticed that the vast majority of women 18-30 had rings on: promise, engagement, or wedding I do not know. But I cannot help but think even though Alabama was in the heart of the Baptist Bible Belt, that most of those women, throw themselves into relationships for all the wrong reasons; to legitmize thier desire for physicial intimacy and beacuse socoety deems it to be proper. However, teen pregnancy is not substaially less common in Alabama (15th Ranked) than it is in Calfornia (7th Ranked) with 7 less pregnancies per thousand women under 18. So really, people are getting hitched or engaged or getting a promise ring so that sexual ativity can be 'excused' should they get caught, followed by a quick wedding (and likely divorce).
I'm really quite upset that #### won't likley be able to marry for love. If she wants a husband and children (which she does), then she must marry a Muslim man, or forfiet the relations with her extended family - and those who may fall for her who have the misfortune of not being Muslim, will never be able to win her hand, even if they do win her heart.
How very saddening, that religion and cultural intolerlances will dictate such disrespect for other cultures, even though every major faith preaches tolerance, acceptance, and love for eachother.
Each person is the master of their own faith, and must walk thier own path. It is not for a pastor, preacher, reverend, imam or monk to tell you what to beleive, oir how to manifest or pratice your faith. I strongly feel that individuals must rely upon thier interepretation of scripture. Their pastors, et al can mentor and help them discover thier faith, but once found it is thiers.
Faith is a wonderful thing - that I have never questioned but faith is personally empowering, and soemthing that exists between that person and the higher power. Religion however can easily turn faith into a weapon, and interpose an intermediary between you and your deity. Turning faith against the faithful, and religions against eachother.
Will we ever learn from our past mistakes and respect eachother?
"Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering. On these lines every religion had more or less the same viewpoint and the same goal."
- The Dalai Lama
One of my employees blindsided me with an announcement that she was getting engaged. After I picked myself off the floor and offered my congratulations, I asked for more details. She told me that she was going to travel back to Jordan to meet her aunt and be re-introduced to a person who had expressed an interest in courting her. I like #### and I think that she is a wonderful person, who needs to find someone she cares for and who cares for her rather than finding somone the family would find acceptable. She had turned down a betrothal to a Christian man (that she cared for deeply), because he was Christian and while her immediate family would be supportive, she would be shunned by her extended family - something she wishes to avoid.
In Alabama, I noticed that the vast majority of women 18-30 had rings on: promise, engagement, or wedding I do not know. But I cannot help but think even though Alabama was in the heart of the Baptist Bible Belt, that most of those women, throw themselves into relationships for all the wrong reasons; to legitmize thier desire for physicial intimacy and beacuse socoety deems it to be proper. However, teen pregnancy is not substaially less common in Alabama (15th Ranked) than it is in Calfornia (7th Ranked) with 7 less pregnancies per thousand women under 18. So really, people are getting hitched or engaged or getting a promise ring so that sexual ativity can be 'excused' should they get caught, followed by a quick wedding (and likely divorce).
I'm really quite upset that #### won't likley be able to marry for love. If she wants a husband and children (which she does), then she must marry a Muslim man, or forfiet the relations with her extended family - and those who may fall for her who have the misfortune of not being Muslim, will never be able to win her hand, even if they do win her heart.
How very saddening, that religion and cultural intolerlances will dictate such disrespect for other cultures, even though every major faith preaches tolerance, acceptance, and love for eachother.
Each person is the master of their own faith, and must walk thier own path. It is not for a pastor, preacher, reverend, imam or monk to tell you what to beleive, oir how to manifest or pratice your faith. I strongly feel that individuals must rely upon thier interepretation of scripture. Their pastors, et al can mentor and help them discover thier faith, but once found it is thiers.
Faith is a wonderful thing - that I have never questioned but faith is personally empowering, and soemthing that exists between that person and the higher power. Religion however can easily turn faith into a weapon, and interpose an intermediary between you and your deity. Turning faith against the faithful, and religions against eachother.
Will we ever learn from our past mistakes and respect eachother?
"Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering. On these lines every religion had more or less the same viewpoint and the same goal."
- The Dalai Lama
