Life Is Not Purgatory
Friday, March 21, 2003
Refelections
It has been a very tough week.
Part of me is bruised – but reveling in helping someone I care about deeply find her way out of the emotional quagmire she was in. I have known for a long time that my friend hadn’t dealt with the issues that were affecting her interpersonal relations and she was headed for a major breakdown and soon if she didn’t deal with it. Reminders of her personal demons lurked around every corner and in the lives of her friends and family all stark reminders that locking away her demons beneath a façade of composure was not helping. Tears were shed, lives were helped, and a heart was bruised.
It is a heavy cross to bear, but I would rather be her friend than nothing at all. I have known for a while that there was little hope for a relationship, but part of me was holding out beyond reason. Her question of me after thanking me for being there, “Are you okay, with just being friends?” put it all into perspective.
My own selfish, romantic interests were interfering in helping her as a friend. “Yes, of course” was my answer – and it’s true. I have moved on… I’ll seek my own fortunes in the game of love, we’ll both be players in that game soon enough… and I’ll be her friend regardless.
It has been a very tough week.
Part of me is bruised – but reveling in helping someone I care about deeply find her way out of the emotional quagmire she was in. I have known for a long time that my friend hadn’t dealt with the issues that were affecting her interpersonal relations and she was headed for a major breakdown and soon if she didn’t deal with it. Reminders of her personal demons lurked around every corner and in the lives of her friends and family all stark reminders that locking away her demons beneath a façade of composure was not helping. Tears were shed, lives were helped, and a heart was bruised.
It is a heavy cross to bear, but I would rather be her friend than nothing at all. I have known for a while that there was little hope for a relationship, but part of me was holding out beyond reason. Her question of me after thanking me for being there, “Are you okay, with just being friends?” put it all into perspective.
My own selfish, romantic interests were interfering in helping her as a friend. “Yes, of course” was my answer – and it’s true. I have moved on… I’ll seek my own fortunes in the game of love, we’ll both be players in that game soon enough… and I’ll be her friend regardless.
